The Friday Shark
Today's Shark of Friday looks at four very different management styles: some good, some bad, some bloody ridiculous. Let's start with the idiot...
Blowing hot air, as usual...
So Alan Pardew doesn't care if Newcastle lose to Arsenal on the final day, now that he has amassed the MASSIVE 41 points required to stay in the Premiership.
Well he bloody well should, I can tell you.
With a slight of hand and utter disregard for every Geordie and Tottenham fan around the globe, this dickwad decided to to open his big mouth again and alienate the very people who pay his substantial wages.
It goes without saying that when somebody with at least half a brain told him what a monumental balls-up he had made - both on and off the field now - he was swift to put it down to nothing more than a 'joke.'
Well, let me tell you, Mr '8-Year Contract', nobody's laughing.
Cock.
Now for the avaricious one:
Gus Poyet is a great manager, was a fine player, and has done wonders for Brighton and Hove Albion. To get them so close to the Premier League is a fantastic effort, and, given time and patience, will turn them into something much, much better.
Thing is, the 45-year-old Uruguayan doesn't want to stick around for another year or two and make his name with the south coast outfit. No, he wants the big bucks, and he wants them NOW!
His recent comments have ended with his employers suspending him and telling him to stay away from the club while an inquiry takes place. His comments? Judge for yourself:
"I will analyse where we can go and myself as well."
He added: "I have got to think about myself as well sometimes.
"Every summer you sit down and analyse where you can go, where you can get or not and depending on that you have got a project or a way of getting better."
Well played the Brighton Board. Sometimes in life you should be careful to get exactly what you ask for.
Greedy, impatient pillock.
"I want my mum."
Saints manager Mauricio Pochettino says 'It would not make sense' for him to stay at Southampton if Chairman Nicola Cortese left the Club.
You can see it now, can't you: millions of workers leaving en mass because their favourite boss has left their branch of Tesco, Starbucks or Screw-fix Direct.
You may be a young manager, but you are a MANAGER. Grow, up, stand on your own two feet and stop relying on somebody else to give you what you want all the frigging time. Do you think that managers in every league are upset when a club is taken over? Of course they are. Do they threaten to leave? Do they shite.
Grow a pair, and get on with the job you've been employed to do, baby face.
And now for the one with the real balls:
Paulo Di Canio has threatened to shorten players' summer holidays unless they 'perform with dignity' in their final game of the season against Spurs on Sunday.
Hallelujah!
A boss with plums, who'll stand square-face with his players and demand they bust a gut for the badge. It's also good to note that seven of his staff have already been disciplined in one shape or another since his arrival on Weirside: one thing's for sure, they won't find themselves in a relegation battle next time around.
All credit to you, you bonkers, high-octaine Italian nut-job; the Premiership needs more like you.
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